Do people violate your boundaries?

But how could they have known if you haven’t  outlined them?

By not being clear on boundaries with people in your life, you are effectively setting others up to fail and you are setting yourself up for upset.

How to Set Boundaries

After you have looked at your core values and have figured out what does and doesn’t work for you, you must set these boundaries and reinforce them.

If someone crosses a boundary the first time, assess whether you were clear with them initially.  If you weren’t then calmly state your case.  Gently.  If they knew of your boundary and crossed it then you need to firmly and calmly tell them that they have crossed the line and that you can not condone it.

If it happens a second time assess if you are getting bogged down in your emotions and then have another conversation expressing your views.  Be clear at this point to tell them that if they cross your boundary again there will be consequences.  Be sure to outline what they will be.

Three strikes they’re out!  OK perhaps not totally but make sure you take action.

As with parenting, you can’t make a rule without following through.  Do not threaten with consequences and not produce.  Non-action causes loss of credibility and invites more inappropriate behaviour.

In some cases, it may be viable to release this person from your life.  If not, then continue to be clear & firm.  If possible avoid getting in a situation again to allow them to try to violate your boundaries.  Or seek assistance if required.

If you missed it – check out the quiz on Empaths.

(Link Below)